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How Can I Help?: What You Can (and Can't) Do to Counsel a Friend, Colleague or Family Member With a Problem, by Joe Gurkoff MA, Anna Ranie
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How Can I Help? is a valuable resource for parents, teachers, nurses, managers, friends and relatives – anyone who wishes to help another person facing a problem, from relationship issues or work challenges to reaching a personal goal or managing a health concern. In this easy-to-use primer, authors and therapists Anna Ranieri and Joe Gurkoff offer a straightforward guide to give you the knowledge, skills and confidence to be truly effective when you decide to counsel someone who is facing one of life’s inevitable challenges. Each chapter provides an overview of a specific step in the helping process, insight into why that step works, a description of how to accomplish it and a way to evaluate what to do next. The authors use typical problems to illustrate why giving advice rarely works, how to encourage progress, when confrontation is appropriate and how to transition away from the helping role once the problem has been resolved. You’ll also learn how to recognize when professional help may be needed, and what to do if at any point you decide that you’ve accomplished all you can or want to do. If you’re looking for a roadmap to providing counsel that is supportive, realistic and doable, How Can I Help? is your indispensable, go-to guide. Anna Ranieri, Ph.D. has a private practice in psychotherapy, career counseling and executive coaching. Joe Gurkoff, M.A., a former psychotherapist, is now a consultant who specializes in helping people apply the art and science of problem solving in their private and professional lives. “When is the last time you put down the phone or walked away from a friend, family member or colleague wishing you could have helped them more effectively? Anna and Jose use their years of counseling experience to guide you in deciding when and how to help. They even coach you through the exit process so you can return to your original relationship. You will find many ways to use the insights they provide.” Julia Schlam Edelman, M.D., FACOG, NCMP_Author, Menopause Matters: Your Guide to a Long and Healthy Life; and The Harvard Medical School Guide to Successful Sleeping Strategies for Women "In this useful and accessible book, Anna and Joe extract from their extensive counseling backgrounds the therapeutic essence that will enable anyone to be of help to someone they care about. They show the reader how to be helpful – which centers on listening and empathizing-- or to choose skillfully when not to engage. With common sense and kindness, they show us how we can and cannot be of help.” Fred Luskin, PhD, author of Forgive for Good and Stress Free for Good
- Sales Rank: #1076500 in Books
- Published on: 2012-12-20
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x .44" w x 5.50" l, .51 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 176 pages
Review
"They've laid out an excellent game plan in plainspoken English with an upbeat tone that encourages progress. Bullet points, sidebars and questions act as convenient yield signs along the way, giving readers a moment to recall and reflect. Even if "active listening" is second nature, it "can't hurt to revisit the basics."� As a primer, reference or for regular practice, this guide contains all the tools needed for friends in need." �
Kirkus
About the Author
Anna Ranieri, PhD, has a private practice in career counseling, psychotherapy, and executive coaching. Anna enjoys helping people navigate the transitions in their lives and pursue their personal and professional goals. Joe Gurkoff, MA, is an author, consultant, and educator, recognized for his novel, perceptive and sometimes surprising approaches to helping people solve problems in their business and personal lives.
Most helpful customer reviews
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
Helpful (and timely) advice for helping others
By Roderick Kramer
As a psychologist who has spent his academic life studying good and bad decision making, I'm often asked by friends and colleagues what's the best way to find wise answers and sound solutions to the problems of someone close to them. In the past, it hasn't been easy to point them in the right direction. Certainly, there are shelf loads of "self-help" books people can turn to when trying to solve their own problems. Few books, however, have been available for the concerned co-worker, friend or partner hoping to help someone else in distress. Fortunately, Ranieri and Gurkoff's How Can I Help? fills this void brilliantly. In a series of cogent and thoughtful chapters, they take you from Step A to Step Z in the intervention process. Although I've been a psychologist for over 25 years, I learned something useful from every page.
I suspect almost everyone reading this review has felt the need--or been called on--at some point in their lives to help a friend or colleague in distress. Ranieri and Gurkoff new book provides the perfect primer to guide the well-intentioned but clueless helper.
If all you could think of when asked for help is, `Gee, maybe you should see a therapist', now you have something else to say: `Let me see if I can help.' I felt enormously empowered and inspired reading their book. Their advice obviously comes from both the head and the heart -- and reflects their years of clinical experience and insight.
In many respects, and sadly so, How Can I Help? arrives in a time when it's wise counsel is especially needed. We've witnessed so many tragic events as this year draws to a close. The collective desire on the part of Americans to reach out and help those in distress and despair has been palpable. If you are in that boat, this wise and practical primer will take you through the stages of an effective helping process. If you hope your actions will have an impact, you'll be glad you read this book--and the person you helped even more so! I recommend the book highly and without reservation.
Roderick M. Kramer, Ph.D.
William R. Kimball Professor of Organizational Behavior
Graduate School of Business
Stanford University
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
When good intentions are not enough
By Julia F. Edelman
Have you ever tried to help someone and ended up frustrated because the target of your good intentions debated, rejected, or ignored your advice or suggestions? Whether you are a college student trying to help your roommate with a dating issue, a friend or family member helping someone in crisis, or an established professional advising a colleague, you will want to read this book. Read it cover to cover, as I did, use it as a reference, or both. When someone discusses their life's challenges with you, the lessons in this book will enable you to help more effectively. You will also have more confidence knowing that you are using techniques similar to those that trained professional helpers use.
Julia Schlam Edelman, MD
Author: Successful Sleep Strategies for Women and
Menopause Matters: Your Guide to a Long and Healthy Life
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Useful Tool to Learn How to Offer Help to a Friend or a Relative
By Maria
The clarity of language, organization, design, easy-to-use style and large print is some of the qualities that make "How Can I Help?: What You Can (and Can't) Do to Counsel a Friend, Colleague or Family Member With a Problem" by Anna Ranieri and Joe Gurkoff an excellent source of information for persons who want to advice a friend or a relative. As stated in the book Author's Notes, "Our goal is not to write a dramatic masterpiece; it is to give you a practical format you can build on using your own style and words.", Anna and Joe summarized exactly what I need - a tool created with much thought and care that will make me feel confident and reassured of my own ability to help a relative or a friend in time of confusion, uncertainty or trouble.
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